Memories kept on passing through my minds. You told me not to think of the past. But can i do it? It's surely a no. I am not joking, you have new friends and you may tell me that you have forgotten all we used to had. However that does not apply to me. Who are you?! Who are you to pass in and catch my heart that easily, and just threw it away when you don need it. Every secs is seriously torturing me. Peircing hurts, blood flooding but that still not able to describe the damage you caused in my heart.
On the day 4/4/09. It's the start of my fake happiness and the route to my painfulness. When i was waiting outside the classroom, surronding a total stranger to me. You appear, and caught my eye. Even though i was attached at that time, you just cant make me stop looking at you. Whenever i had the chance, i will peek at you even though not knowing whether you might notice me. First day, i open the door for you. The first word you told me is Thank you. How happy i was, so on and so for after the day end, i only said bye to you.
Soon weeks passed, and i had been continuing to say hello and bye to you. None of us had take the step forward to talk. Until the day of 21/4/09. You sat outside on the class, infront of the pond playing with a cat. I walked towards you and we started disturbing and chatting. That very moment is what i wished to kept forever in my heart. We briefly told about each other stuffs and troubled... It's so awesome, i never felt so comfortable before. Soon lesson end, we took the train as you were going to work for your dad. During the train trip, it's was fun. We disturbed each other and crack jokes too. It's was so fast that it reached the stop of Kallang. By then you got to alight, and i told you i will message you later.
We exchange our emails, and started to talk on phone too. I felt so comfortable talking to you and with endless topics. By then i am confirmed that i had fall in love with you and i know you did too. We carry on our life chatting and talking for that days and are also troubled that i am in a relationship. We both agreed that we should wait for time to pass before getting together.
Soon i broke up with my ex. However we still decided to carry on as friends first, as we do not want conflicts to happened next time.
Until then on the 29/4/09. The day which i felt that i had finally live my life to the fullest. We went to the new bugis shopping mall and went outside of the arcade. We chatted and disturbed. Not long, i cant hold back, and i ask you for your hand. we promised that, next time no matter what happened, we will not let conflicts or quarreling be the reason that break us. I was really happy that i finally make you mine.
During the days we were together, so much things just happened, Be it good or bad. We break and patched but still loving you as much. Cause i know, you are the one that i want to be with for my lifetime. Still, everything is just my own wishful thoughts. You told me we don understand each other and wish to carry on as friends knowing each other better first. It's was all alright to me. Till two days ago. He told me something. Something which i can never accept in my lifetime. I seriously force myself to think that it's all my fault, because in my mind you are always that perfect. I don wish to see you get any little hurt and most important i don wish to let you know i am suffering. You are the one that i know it's not puppy love or other relationship i had once.
We been to so many place, i sang so many songs for you and word we used to promise. I will never ever forget it. I hope after two years, we can get back the feelings. I am sure by then i will still love you as much. Nothing is gonna stop me from loving you. 29/4/09 is the day i will always kept in my heart. So long, one day i might burst and been a total break down, still my heart never will change. I love you.
Every now and then, i pretend i am alright.
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