I realise till now, i tried but you still meant so much.

I dunno what to say. This feeling just sucks. Why? I am not sure. Yesterday was a breakdown, the feeling of not being able to talk well. I got so much thing want to say and tell. I just dunno how to express it. It sucks. Now i will be worried on i might break into quarrel again which i want to keep avoiding it. I suspect, i guess and i know i am stupid.
I want to have the way and feeling of how i used to have by you, seeing everything that you going through hurts me a lot. Is life really that cruel?